I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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