I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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