The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
