my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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