i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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