That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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