Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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