it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
