Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
