I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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