so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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