...so i touched it.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize