I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
