lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
