I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
