I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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