never play flip cup with pint glasses
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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