Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
