Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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