i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Randomize
