I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
We're like a lot better than the average bears
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
i think we sleep fucked last night...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
