Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
