so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
