awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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