We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
