The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
