just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
