38 yer olds are good kisserssss
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
