There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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