its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
