That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
