nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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