I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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