just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Four minutes until I can fart!
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
