Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
