he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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