I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Im part way to drunk.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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