he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
