who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
No...this little piggys going to the bar
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
