in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
