Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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