That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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