I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
