Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
