Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
