We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
whose parrot is this?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
