Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
