we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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