Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
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