angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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