I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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