He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize