that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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