One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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