I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
