; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
