put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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