Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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