Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
