if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize
