its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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