the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
