Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
