I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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